No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
