well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
