Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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