when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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