You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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