Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
