someone owes me an orgasm
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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