It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
