with your own penis?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize