Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You're like the curious george of whores
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
