i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
