Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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