Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
