return my video game
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize