she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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