shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I deserve this hangover.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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