but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
