Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize