Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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