6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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