so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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