New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
