He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
