Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
