last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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