theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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