I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
