those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize