do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize