I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
