STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
