Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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