I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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