I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
