I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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