Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
