i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize