i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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