And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
