we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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