Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
