Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you never un-have a 4some
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
