It's Friday. Sex?
...so i touched it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
