Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
