Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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