I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
