so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
