we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
