sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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