Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so explain again why im purple
no
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
