Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
