he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
