im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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