dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
