we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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