He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
