Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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