who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
