I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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