haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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