Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
