I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I wish there were birth control emojis
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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