"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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