If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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