no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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